{"id":38773,"date":"2022-06-08T11:11:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-08T10:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sarahvivienne.co.uk\/?p=38773"},"modified":"2023-02-01T16:42:10","modified_gmt":"2023-02-01T16:42:10","slug":"traditions-for-modern-weddings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sarahvivienne.co.uk\/traditions-for-modern-weddings\/","title":{"rendered":"Traditions for modern weddings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Picture this: It was mid-pandemic. My PJs and fluffy slippers were on double-duty to make lockdown comfy. And life as a wedding photographer was complicated<\/em>. Weddings were under severe restrictions and the guest number limit was flicking between 15 and 30 loved ones. Naturally, micro-weddings became my bread, butter, and seedless raspberry jam. But they were few and far between. So, like many people, I spent a lot of time in the Insta rabbit hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One particularly dreary day, something stopped my scroll:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c… time-honoured traditions that make a wedding \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t even need to read the list of “must-have\u201d traditions before steam erupted from my ears. Cake-cutting. Bouquet-toss. First-dance. According to the article, these are \u201cessential\u201d for a wedding to be a wedding. I saw red.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s why it made me cross…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth about wedding traditions <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s simple: Traditions do not make a wedding. People<\/em> make a wedding. Love<\/em> makes a wedding. There may be a place for traditions \u2013 but they do not make<\/em> a wedding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to follow a tradition because a magazine says it\u2019ll make your wedding perfect. Or because Debrett\u2019s<\/a> says it\u2019s the correct etiquette. And you definitely don\u2019t need to work a tradition into your wedding because your great aunt\u2019s next-door neighbour\u2019s sister\u2019s daughter\u2019s boss\u2019 wife said so. Just because other people think it\u2019s right, that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s right for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only thing you need <\/em>for your wedding is to make vows and sign the register.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet we continue. Because that\u2019s how it\u2019s always been done. Because that\u2019s what everyone else does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s totally understandable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe you don\u2019t know where to start with your plans. So you turn to media outlets for help, ideas, and advice. But the trouble is: they uphold the importance of a “perfect day” and are eager to make you worry your wedding won’t match up. So rather than risk getting it wrong, it seems safe to stick to the norm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or perhaps you just don’t know what you want. Even the most self-aware among us can still unconsciously accept what we believe and hush our intuition – and as a result, follow a tried and tested path. Noticing this in ourselves is tough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And even if you do have a clear idea of which traditions are for you and which aren’t, it’s hard to go against the grain. You might meet resistance and disapproval from other people – and it takes courage to brave that and stay true to yourself – especially if someone else is paying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now more than ever, it\u2019s time to question everything<\/em>. It\u2019s time to stop unconsciously <\/em>following traditions, think about why we\u2019re doing things, think about what makes us<\/em> happy, and be ourselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do I care so much?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, as a documentary wedding photographer, I\u2019ll capture the feelings<\/em> of your day, so you can relive every moment. So all the emotions you experience on the day will come back when you look at your photos. Take a first-dance photo. The picture may be aesthetically beautiful, but if you ignored your dislike for being in the spotlight because “everyone does a first dance” – and then spent the entire dance feeling awkward … guess how you\u2019ll feel when you look at the photo? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You deserve photos you love. Photos that make you feel good, and like you. And that starts with planning a wedding that’s you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing you the courage to invent traditions that honor who you are and what you value. To set and maintain your boundaries. And the self-awareness to know what that is.<\/em> And in doing so, give other couples permission to do the same. Because you deserve more than a wedding day timeline of traditions. You deserve a day that\u2019s nothing but love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The wedding traditions I ship <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Now, let\u2019s not get too hasty and knock wedding traditions completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because no matter how things change, traditions are symbolic. They remain constant, bring us comfort, and keep us close to our loved ones even when we\u2019re apart. There\u2019s nothing like a big ol\u2019 dose of nostalgia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But only when you\u2019ve intentionally chosen the traditions because they\u2019re right for you<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me? There are definitely some wedding traditions I can get behind. Cake? Brilliant idea. But saving the top tier of the wedding cake? Er, not likely. And I find some traditions totally weird. Breaking cake over the couple\u2019s heads? Hard pass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to make wedding traditions your own <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Traditions are best when they\u2019re meaningful to you. So start there. Does the idea make you feel good, happy, and excited? If it feels good to you, go for it. If not, toss the tradition. And if you\u2019re unsure, ask yourself \u201cwhy, why, why …\u201d over and over until you get to your underlying thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And remember, it\u2019s not just about dropping traditions. You can also twist an old classic or start a completely new tradition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some super special adaptations my couples have served up. I hope they give you some inspo to make your wedding you<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n