The introvert’s guide to surviving wedding photography

November 5, 2020
Flower girls getting ready at Dodmoor House in Northampton

Every step you take, every move you make, every vow you take … it’s all eyes on you.

All day.

Which is great if you love the spotlight, but problematic if you’re more of a private person.

As an introvert, you’d probably rather skinny dip with sharks than even think about being the centre of attention on your wedding day.

You’re not alone. Weddings – and wedding photography – can feel overwhelming for us introverts. It’s like weddings are designed for extroverts.

(But keep in mind that even the most extroverted extroverts need to take a deep breath on their wedding day. It’s a big moment!)

And then there’s the photography.

You know it’s super important to capture such a milestone day.  

But you’re dreading being the centre of attention and having a photographer around all day.

The good news? If you’ve booked me for your wedding photography, you’re off to a good start. Because I’m an innie too.

Children playing under the wedding present table at Pipewell Hall in Northampton

I’m the ideal wedding photographer for introverts because:

There’s no awkward posing or staged set ups

My approach to wedding photography is informal and low key, which makes having me and my camera around feel easy. It’s just you, being you, enjoying your day, while I work calmly and quietly in the background (in true introvert style!).

You can be yourself around me

If there’s one thing all my clients have in common (other than being obscenely beautiful and wildly in love), it’s that they all say they find it easy to relax around me.

“It is simply impossible to not feel relaxed around her. It felt more like meeting a (very well organised) friend (with a large fancy camera or two). She made us feel at ease instantly.” Pat & Liz Dapre

And look, I don’t know how I do it. It’s just the way I am. But a more relaxed you means more relaxed and meaningful photos, so it’s all good.

You’ll get just the right amount of photography direction from me

When it comes to pictures of the two of you, I won’t leave you to figure out what to do on your own. But neither will I micromanage every move you make like you were in a fashion shoot. There’s a happy medium… a space where you’ll be looked after but also feel able to be yourself. And that’s where we’ll hang out – because that will make your photos feel like you.

As for your group photos? Don’t worry about your high-energy family and friends being unruly. I can switch on my extrovert to control the group photos and get them done quickly – while keeping everyone happy.

Sarah had such a calm and gentle demeanour which made us both feel comfortable when doing our couple shots, and she could equally take charge of the large family and friends photos!” Joseph & Isabella Keighley

You’ll get privacy when you need it

There’s nothing worse than having your photos taken in front of a crowd of gawking onlookers and hecklers. It’s kinda hard to be romantic in that situation! So I’ll make sure you have privacy and space to be yourselves. It’ll just be you and me – and my camera.

I’m an introvert too!

I get how big, beautiful, special and emotional your wedding will be. But you’re not required to be ‘on’ the entire time. Because I know it can get a bit much sometimes, I rely on my innie intuition to know when to step forward and when to step back. For example, while you’re getting ready, I’ll move from room to room capturing different things, giving you time to yourself.

Children looking bored during the receiving line at a wedding in Northampton

Now, once you’ve finished congratulating yourself for choosing me as your wedding photographer, you can go ahead and treat yourself to some of my tips for making your wedding photography even more introvert-friendly.

Wedding photography tips for introverts

Plan a wedding that’s you

The big, bold, packed to the rafters wedding isn’t for everyone. And you shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything that gives you the heebie-jeebies. 

So if you hate the idea of a big guest list, keep it small.

Don’t want to spend hours small-talking? Shorten your socialising times.

And if the idea of having a big evening party sends a shudder down your spine, then why not have an acoustic duo and board games instead? Or even just end the day after your meal.

This is your wedding, and you can do it your way.

Remember, it’s not all about you

Okay, so, yes, it’s definitely your day. But this doesn’t mean it’s just your day. I love you, but it isn’t.

Weddings are about bringing people together.

And sure, you’re the reason for them all being there, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be the centre of attention all day long. They’ll be catching up with each other too.

Plus, as beautiful as you are, and will be on your wedding day, I’ll be there to photograph your friends and family enjoying themselves too. The camera won’t be glued to you the whole time.

Feeling better? Brilliant! Because feeling relaxed is where photos that feel like ‘you’ start!

Practice makes perfect

If you haven’t heard of a pre-wedding shoot before, it’s a photoshoot that happens before (usually a few months before) your wedding.

I love pre-wedding shoots because they allow my couples to get really comfortable in front of the camera. Practicing at being in pro pictures (which believe me, is much easier than being in amateur ones – I hate those too) makes it feel like a more normal thing to do. Which means your wedding photos will be much easier.

Heads up: If you don’t have a pre-wedding shoot for some reason (and that’s a-okay!), make sure you do have a face-to-face planning session. It’s good to meet in person and get to know each other. That way you won’t be meeting a stranger on your wedding day (which we all know isn’t good for an inny’s nerves!).

Trust your resident photographer

On the day, trust me and let me do my thing. I’m there for one reason: To make you look good. I won’t over-direct you, but when I give you guidance, it’s for a good reason. Pinky promise.

Build-in quiet time

When you’re planning your wedding day schedule, set aside some downtime. Maybe you could take ten minutes to yourselves after your ceremony and before dinner to reset.

I also recommend planning a couple of short portrait sessions throughout the day rather than one long one so they don’t feel too heavy.

Cute bride and groom at Dodford Manor

All my couples say how they forget I’m around and hardly notice me because they’re so busy enjoying everything that’s going on. I’m sure it’ll be the same for you.

You’ve got this!

What to read next: Want to know more about relaxing in front of the camera? Check out this post on how to find camera confidence.